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08/09/2004: "Where, Oh Where, Did My Heroine Leave Her Inhaler?"
Let's chat about a malady we've all seen--and may ourselves be guilty of burdening our characters with. I call it RHRDS.
What is RHRDS? A definition:
RHRDS-- Romance Heroine Respiratory Distress Syndrome. A condition in which easily surprised and/or shocked romance heroines gasp frequently. The heroine is almost always "innocent," if not a virgin. Heroes can also suffer from RHRDS, but this, fortunately, is extremely rare.
RHRDS can be acute or chronic--acute (ARHRDS) happening when an otherwise healthy heroine suddenly begins out-of-control gasping during a sex scene. Chronic (CRHRDS) occurs when a heroine gasps often all throughout the novel for whatever reason.
Many excellent romances feature heroines who don't gasp anywhere in the entire novel. *gasp!* Others may contain a gasp or two, and often the gasps happen for good reason--like the heroine has nearly suffocated and must gasp for air. Even if the heroine gasps out of surprise or shock or sudden lust, it'll happen infrequently. This is not RHRDS.
RHRDS occurs when a heroine gasps so often that the reader begins to wonder if the poor girl has a respiratory illness. She may be gasping several times PER CHAPTER for hero-related reasons. Here are some actual examples I've seen while critiquing, editing, or judging contest entries:
His size and huge build was a shock, and she gasped as he stalked toward her.
Gasping, she struggled for breath when he brushed his thumb over her nipple.
"Oh," she gasped, amazed at the feel of him against her.
Her gasps of pleasure filled him with masculine possessiveness and pride.
Her gaze swept over him, and she gasped when she saw the size of the bulge in his jeans. (My personal favorite.)
Had these examples come only once or twice in an entire manuscript, they wouldn't be so bad, but they came one on top of each other. One begins to wonder if the heroine is really a fish who needs to be tossed back in the water so she can breathe normally again. (She writhed beneath him, gasping and moaning.) Quick! Dunk her in the water before she dies!!!
And think about it--how often do you really gasp? Sharp intakes of breath, jaw-drops, wide eyes, breath catching...these happen more frequently. Overused gasps in a story become distracting and melodramatic.
And speaking of distracting, I need to stop blogging and start writing fiction--minus gasps.
Too funny! 
- Gasping...
