Oh, the great outdoors.

The scent of wood burning in campfires, pine trees, and fresh air. The sounds of nature, of owls hooting, raccoons fighting, of college kids in the next tent having what must have been really great sex. (What was that, son? Oh, just…possums playing. Yeah, possums.)

OMG. We had the weirdest trip.

It was fun, but COLD. I'm going to throw down the bullshit flag on my sleeping bag's manufacturer's promise that it's warm down to 20 degrees. Lying bastards.

My husband did all of the cooking, so that was cool. And yo, just for future reference, Jiffy Pop doesn't cook so well over a campfire.

So we have the horny college kids on one side of us, and OCD campguy on the other. OCD campguy was the FREAKIEST thing I've ever seen. (Note: I'm not making fun of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, because I have a touch of that myself…)

So OCD guy comes into his site in the morning…9-ish. He then spent until 9 PM cleaning his site. I kid you not. 12 hours of CLEANING. First he raked his site and picked up every stick, rock, leaf, and pine needle. Then he leveled his site with a shovel and finally, his hands. Then he washed his picnic table. Disinfected it. Dried it. Did the same with his big metal bear box. Mind you, all this time he's changing shirts like crazy — I think every time he got dirt on one, he'd change.

He wore surgical gloves the whole time. Spent a couple hours cleaning his firepit. Set up his tent…all perfect. Then he spent a good hour spraying waterproof stuff on it, taking detailed care to get the stuff in every nook and cranny.

When he was all done with his site, he then raked THE TRAIL LEADING TO HIS SITE. I think altogether he went through 12 shirts, 2 gallons of bleach, and an entire box of surgical gloves. He probably brought Presto logs to burn because regular wood is dirty.

Better than TV, baby. Better than TV.

So we enjoyed ourselves. Watching strange-oids prepare their sites, listening to college kids get it on, walking the Appalachian trail, watching deer and woodpeckers…it was cool.

I did get sick while camping and came home with a horrible sore throat, fever, and headache, but I'm on antibiotics now and am finally starting to feel better.

Anyway, hope y'all had a great weekend — and stayed warmer than I did!