Or, as Sven would call it, "Today's Sponsor Post."
I haven’t been published for that long. Heck, I sold just last year. So when people ask for writing and publishing advice, I usually point them in another direction. Like, in a direction toward authors with lots of books on the shelves.
At least, I do that unless people want advice on how to keep writing after rejections take a toll on your self-esteem and your will to write.
That, I know a lot about.
Rejections screw with your head. There’s no way to sugar-coat it. There are a million reasons for rejections that you KNOW you shouldn’t take personally, but you do. You can tell yourself over and over that the project is good, but wasn’t right for that particular editor. Or that the publishing house is overloaded with the genre you’re writing. Or that it never even made it to an editor but was instead rejected by a first reader and if only it had made it to the actual editor…
But no matter how right you might be, how many times you tell yourself these things, there is always the thought in the back of your head that “I wasn’t good enough. I got rejected. I suck.”
Rejections can be paralyzing. I know. I’ve been there. Many times.
Thing is, I look back now and thank my lucky stars that no one bought me back then. Okay, stop looking at me like that. I’m not crazy. Really.
The stories I was writing were contemporary. Medical romantic suspense, mostly. Before that, historicals.
When I take a look at what I write today, I’m amazed at how much my voice has changed and how much I’ve learned. Mostly, I write paranormals, but even my contemporary works have evolved. I LOVE what I’m writing now, and I LOVE who I’m writing for.
Had I sold way back then, I’d be miserable right now. I wasn’t ready to be published now matter how badly I wanted it.
At the time I was getting the rejections, I was devastated. I had friends who were going through the same issues, friends who eventually gave up. I understood their frustration, and I have to admit, my enthusiasm for writing often waned.
Obviously, I didn’t give up. I kept writing, kept reading, kept learning. During that time, my writing evolved. It got stronger. I grew more confident.
Had I sold before now, I honestly don’t know if I’d still be writing. I can see now that I might not have been able to handle the pressure—I might not have had the writing skills to push myself to greater heights. I might have been stuck writing something that ultimately didn’t make me happy.
Thanks to those rejections, I’m in a much better place now…mentally and with my writing. It was hard—so hard to tell myself that “everything happens for a reason.”
But I’m here to tell you it does. If you’re going through the multiple rejections, the harsh critiques, the feeling that you're pedaling and going nowhere…know that almost every published author has been there. And I’ll bet a lot of them realize that they sold when they were ready, and not a minute before.
And there ARE authors who admit that maybe they weren’t ready when they sold. They’ve had a hard road, often much harder than those who took a long time to sell.
So keep at it. Take each rejection and learn from it. Everything happens for a reason, as lame as that sounds. Every time I think of my path, I think of the song by Garth Brooks, called Unanswered Prayers.
“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”
Now, go check in at Alison’s blog to report your word count, and one of you will win this weeks’s prize…I have some cool stuff for you – a gorgeous handmade pen, a really cool inspirational book for writers called “Sun Signs for Writers,” a copy of my current Secrets volume, and other assorted books and goodies.
And don’t let those rejections get you down. Make them work for you. And tell me…if you’re published, how many rejections did you receive before you sold? If you aren’t published, tell me how many rejections you’ve earned—and I say “earned” because you should be proud of every one. They mean you had the guts to write a novel and submit it. Keep doing that. Sven says so.
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I sold pretty early in my career, but I’ve had my share of rejections. The worst was when a mentor called my work vomit. Yeah. That was fun. And after I’d sold a number of books, I turned in a contracted novel that my editor said wasn’t good enough for publication. Rejections happen at each stage of a career. The trick, as Larissa says, is to not let the rejections stop you. Go Sweaters!
by Jo Leigh
on July 22nd, 2007 at 11:03 am
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Vomit? Someone called your work VOMIT???
Well, I’m glad you kept going, and great reminder that rejections come even after you’ve been published!
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 am
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Great post, Larissa. It’s a nice reminder. 
by Jordan
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:00 pm
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It’s Jo Leigh who said someone called her book vomit, right? Jo Leigh of Relentless?
??: 
I’ve happily received no rejections at all.
by May
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:03 pm
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Thanks, Jordan…I know you’ve been there right alongside me!
May, no rejections? Girl, we need to get to work on that! 
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
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I have only had one rejection and it was from an agent. I know this may sound odd but there is a story behind it.
While I was at the Lori Foster Get Together in June, an editor requested my full manuscript as soon as I finished it. I was in shock and when I spoke to Dianne Castell about what had happened she recommended that I go talk to an agent (you know just in case). After speaking with the agent she asked for the first three chapters of the wip and I gave them to her with the understanding that they were not edited and definitely not up to my expectations. She assured me that she understood and took the three chapters.
I have to admit to not expecting a lot from this meeting because it was not good, but her rejection letter to me was actually very kind and encouraging. She recommended that I continue to write, because my current work wasn’t strong enough, yet. She also recommended my getting a critique partner, since this was something that I already was looking for, I considered it encouraging. She also say in the letter that once I had a little more experience under my belt to let her know, she would love to read some of my future work.
by Patty L.
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:31 pm
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Patty, that doesn’t sound odd at all! A LOT of writers get their first rejections from agents! You are totally not alone! 
And congrats on such a wonderful rejection letter — agents do NOT just say they want to read your future work if they don’t mean it. The agent must see some real promise in your writing. So keep it up, and congratulations!
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
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Great post, Larissa!!!
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I’ve been rejected loads, but when you work as a freelance journalist, that’s par for the course.
As far as fiction goes… let me count. Twenty-two on books that never sold. Probably about five times as many on books that have. What a lot of unpublished writers forget is that once you sell, you get to get rejections from markets in every foreign country you can think of as well as at Hollywood. Also, that it’s unlikely every publisher your agent sends your work to will make an offer on it. Rejections don’t stop.
by Diana
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
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SO true, Diana! Yet another reason to not let rejections stop you from trying to attain the goal of publication. The rejections you get as an unpublished writer will help toughen you up for the rejections you get as a published author.
Rejections happen. They suck…but we have to keep writing. (After soothing ourselves with lots of chocolate and beer, of course!) 
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:57 pm
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I haven’t received a rejection, yet. Of course I haven’t even sent out query letters. I haven’t even finished a MS. I am that new to writing. However, I have seen how upset my CP’s get when they have received rejection letters, even those who are published. It really gets them down. Thanks for an uplifting post and a reminder that it is part of the game.
by Christina
on July 22nd, 2007 at 12:59 pm
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Fabulous post, Larissa, and so, so true. I’m another of the “I’m glad I didn’t sell before” club, although at the time, it seemed like every rejection was a tiny little stake through the heart.
There’s a reason, even if we don’t want to see it at the time. 
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[…] Days of Sweat Challenge. Go on over to Alison’s blog and put down your number. Also check out Larissa’s post on […]
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Good post!
by HelenKay
on July 22nd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
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This is a great way to look at rejection. I have yet to finish a book, so I’ve got a ways to go before stressing about submissions, but this is something to remember when I do get to that point.
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog with some encouraging words!
by Andrea
on July 22nd, 2007 at 3:06 pm
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Rejections? I’ve got a box full. Form rejections. Stamped rejections. Torn piece of paper rejections. Personalized rejections. E-mail rejections. Most authors do. And I still get them, and they’re still painful. You hurt, you adjust, you keep writing.
I’m still not where I want to be…but it’s harder to give up than it is to keep going, I think. And yeah, I try to remind myself there’s probably a reason for it–even if I don’t know what it is, lol.
by raine
on July 22nd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
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I’ve gotten a lot of agent rejections and a few publisher rejections to date.
I do get a little down with each and I have a deal with myself that I’m allowed a day or so of moping, then it’s back to work. I do read them to see what changes I may be able to make based on whatever feedback I’ve received.
But I have also gotten some that wanted me to make specific changes that, after a lot of thought, I decided were really wrong for the story. Even though making those changes would probably have resulted in the sale of the story, I decided not to make those changes and wait to find a better home for the story instead.
But I just have to keep on writing
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Thanks for the great post, Larissa! It’s always nice we’re not alone…that even talented and successful authors had a tough time climbing the publishing mountain. 
So, here’s to everyone whose gotten R’s. I know I’m expecting a few more to arrive any day now. LOL!
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Not too many…but I lucked out a lot. I hit the right editor at the right time at EC, and my editor at Berkley picked me up because of what I had at EC.
I think I had like six or seven rejections, but yeah… they suck.
Whaddya mean it’s not right for you? It’s frickin perfect… followed by the oh man, I can’t do this
You just have to keep on going.
Some sound thinking there when you said you weren’t ready before.
A lot of us think that once we get pubbed, everything will be miraculously alright. You may leave behind the stress of trying to get pubbed, but once you’re pubbed, there’s a lot different kind of stress and you have to be ready to handle it.
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Christina, good luck finishing that first MS! It’s a MAJOR accomplishment that feels really good!
Thanks, HelenKay!
Andrea, you can do it! You’ll have your first book done soon…have faith!
(((hugs))) Raine! The rejections do hurt. But it’s kinda like how, when someone passes 10 years in the military, it’s easier to keep going to retirement than to waste the ten years and get out, you know? Once you get a rejection, you know you can do it…eventually!
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 6:19 pm
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Linda, it’s so true that each rejection is a stake through the heart! But it’s crazy to look back and realize that it was for the best in the long run, isn’t it?
Maura, I always allow myself a day of moping. And chocolate! 
Meagan–fingers crossed that you don’t get the rejections you’re expecting. Let’s hope they’re offers!
Shiloh, six or seven rejections is still enough to suck! 
And you’re right that the stress is still there, even if it’s a different kind!
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
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Oh, and thanks, Tori! Somehow I missed your comment!
by Larissa
on July 22nd, 2007 at 6:27 pm
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Great post Larissa. I’ve received what seems like a million rejections over the years and it is hard to keep writing sometimes. I even put the writing away for about six miserable months. It was a good thing to do because I realized as bad as the rejections hurt, the not writing hurt worse.
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Thanks for the encouraging words at my blog today. And, thanks for this great blog. I’m in the thick of getting ready to send out my first three chapters — requested at RWA Nationals — and I’m fully expecting rejection. (But, I still dream they will say “YES!”)
Macy
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Rejections are not fun! Just received my first this week. Didn’t bother me a bit. Just made me more determined. I know it was good. And I will submit somewhere else and it will be published. You don’t always sub to the right publisher. Thanks for the pep talk on rejections, Larisa. If it gets rejected again, I’ll come back and read. LOL. Loving the Challenge!
Tess MacKall
http://www.tessmackall.literalseduction.com
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Great post!
Rejections are tough to take. I don’t think any writers can call themselves writers if they haven’t received at least one rejection. I know I have received a few, but I’ve learned from everyone of them.
I sold my first book after doing the changes on a rejection letter.
And, yes, you do get rejections after selling a book.
by Erin
on July 22nd, 2007 at 10:14 pm
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OUCH! on the vomit comment! This was a terrific post. Handling “failure” is at least as important as handling success, if not more so. I haven’t finished a manuscript yet, but I am trying to get myself prepared for rejection, so that it does not torpedo me. I am fortunate that I have a great group of critique partners (Hello Passion’s Slaves)and in addition to sharing their amazing wisdom they have shared their rejections too. This is a tough business, but I feel like I have finally found my calling, so I am going to keep at it! Posts like yours really help!
by Pamela Bolton-Holifield
on July 23rd, 2007 at 1:32 am
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I’m still waiting for my first rejection (or acceptance for that matter), or even a reply to my polite email query about the status of my submission. I’ll try snail mail next. Sigh.
by Ann
on July 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
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TONS of rejections. I’ve written several novels, and had several rejections on each. But even now I’m printing out a full for an agent and hoping to hear from a Silhouette editor…..
by Mary
on July 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm
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Great post. Thanks. It’s hard to take those rejections when they come, but thankfully, the sting fades with time.
Having said that, there are several short stories that I wrote that never sold and I still can’t understand why not, when other, lesser works, saw print. It’s a tough business.
by KingM
on July 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
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I LOVE that Garth Brooks song. Has answered so many questions in my life.
As a writer just beginning, I don’t have much fear of rejection. Because honestly, at this point in writing my first story, if I sat down to think about them at ALL, I wouldn’t finish the book. It would sit on my computer and demand to be finished, but fear of rejection would stop me.
So I don’t think about it. I don’t bite my nails in fear that no one will like it, no one will buy it, I’ll be rejected by everyone, because it won’t get me anywhere.
And I’m saving it until the book is finished, I’m sure.
