Reminders…and Thank You
Ever since hurricane Katrina turned my life upside down, I've had good days and bad days. Thankfully, most of them have been good days. On the bad days, I give myself a good kick in the ass and remind myself that there are a lot of people who have it much worse than I do.
But some days, like today, a kick in the ass just isn't enough.
My husband and I are rapidly becoming discouraged. Our hurricane insurance company reached a settlement with our neighbor who has the same coverage, same company, and identical damage to her house. Guess what the HURRICANE insurance company wants to give her for her destroyed house?
$465. Yep. Four hundred and sixty-five dollars to cover all damages, which amount to about $200,000.
Things don't look any better for us. And worse, we can't get any repairs made, nor can we sell the house because my husband's boat is constantly out to sea, so he can't be around to get any of that done. The big stressor is that we're approaching transfer time, and if we don't get something done with the house, we're going to be making rent AND mortgage payments, which we can't afford.
To top things off, we're in a holding pattern with FEMA and our SBA loan because they all need the settlement paperwork from the insurance company, who hasn't sent us their determination yet. Gee, can't wait for that $465 check from them. 
So anyway, today is one of the bad days. I'm trying to get my spirits up, but I'm truly on the edge today. I'm joining Steph on the orca cliff, and maybe I'll borrow her cape.
It didn't help to look at the pictures my friend sent me from my town in Mississippi. I truly think that the survival mode I was in has worn off, and now the reality is hitting me again. It hurts to see the area I loved so torn apart. It hurts to be on the verge of financial catastrophe and to have to rely on the generosity of others. It bites to know that my husband is living in a tiny little space smaller than most people's bathrooms where he can't get away from work to relax, since he's pretty much living in his office on his Coast Guard ship.
And so if I sometimes lose it and say things that seem harsh, like I recently did, that's why. It may not be fair to think of other problems as "small," but when you are walking in donated shoes, somebody complaining about a pebble in their new, expensive ones doesn't sound like a big deal. That doesn't mean that I don't have sympathy–it's just that on bad days, I have trouble relating. Go ahead and call me insensitive–I'm getting used to it. 
Here are some of the reminders that have topped off my depression today:
These are places I where I used to eat and shop… O'Charley's.
Local strip mall.
How I got clothes for me and my family (that's not me, however!):
How people in my town are living:
It's those last two pictures that remind me how lucky I am that I have a place to stay, but at the same time they make me really sad for those who are living in tent cities and on their front lawns. But I do want everyone who has given to Katrina relief and who has helped us in so many ways to know how grateful I am. The whole Mississippi gulf coast is thankful, and as bad as things are down there, the people are strong and WILL be okay. We will, too. It's just that on some days, being okay seems a long ways off.
To everyone who has helped, this is for you:
Sheesh - that’s ridiculous 
