Ever since hurricane Katrina turned my life upside down, I've had good days and bad days. Thankfully, most of them have been good days. On the bad days, I give myself a good kick in the ass and remind myself that there are a lot of people who have it much worse than I do.

But some days, like today, a kick in the ass just isn't enough.

My husband and I are rapidly becoming discouraged. Our hurricane insurance company reached a settlement with our neighbor who has the same coverage, same company, and identical damage to her house. Guess what the HURRICANE insurance company wants to give her for her destroyed house?

$465. Yep. Four hundred and sixty-five dollars to cover all damages, which amount to about $200,000.

Things don't look any better for us. And worse, we can't get any repairs made, nor can we sell the house because my husband's boat is constantly out to sea, so he can't be around to get any of that done. The big stressor is that we're approaching transfer time, and if we don't get something done with the house, we're going to be making rent AND mortgage payments, which we can't afford.

To top things off, we're in a holding pattern with FEMA and our SBA loan because they all need the settlement paperwork from the insurance company, who hasn't sent us their determination yet. Gee, can't wait for that $465 check from them. :roll:

So anyway, today is one of the bad days. I'm trying to get my spirits up, but I'm truly on the edge today. I'm joining Steph on the orca cliff, and maybe I'll borrow her cape.

It didn't help to look at the pictures my friend sent me from my town in Mississippi. I truly think that the survival mode I was in has worn off, and now the reality is hitting me again. It hurts to see the area I loved so torn apart. It hurts to be on the verge of financial catastrophe and to have to rely on the generosity of others. It bites to know that my husband is living in a tiny little space smaller than most people's bathrooms where he can't get away from work to relax, since he's pretty much living in his office on his Coast Guard ship.

And so if I sometimes lose it and say things that seem harsh, like I recently did, that's why. It may not be fair to think of other problems as "small," but when you are walking in donated shoes, somebody complaining about a pebble in their new, expensive ones doesn't sound like a big deal. That doesn't mean that I don't have sympathy–it's just that on bad days, I have trouble relating. Go ahead and call me insensitive–I'm getting used to it.
Here are some of the reminders that have topped off my depression today:

These are places I where I used to eat and shop… O'Charley's.

Local strip mall.

How I got clothes for me and my family (that's not me, however!):

How people in my town are living:

It's those last two pictures that remind me how lucky I am that I have a place to stay, but at the same time they make me really sad for those who are living in tent cities and on their front lawns. But I do want everyone who has given to Katrina relief and who has helped us in so many ways to know how grateful I am. The whole Mississippi gulf coast is thankful, and as bad as things are down there, the people are strong and WILL be okay. We will, too. It's just that on some days, being okay seems a long ways off.

To everyone who has helped, this is for you:

A $29 billion dollar bill for Katrina relief was passed in the House on Monday morning, which would be really good news for people in Mississippi who lost their homes to storm surge. (You know, people like me.) It still has to pass in the Senate, and it could have trouble there. Some dumbass included the hurricane relief stuff (as well as military pay stuff) on the same bill that would authorize controversial drilling in Alaska. I HATE it when politicians do crap like that. It's underhanded and slimy, and I don't know how those people can sleep at night. :evil: I really, really hope that the Democrats can get the Alaska drilling thing taken off the bill before the vote.

Anyway, if the bill passes, Mississippi will be in a position to help out those who didn't have flood insurance because it wasn't required (people who were required to have it but didn't wouldn't be helped by this bill) but had their homes destroyed by unprecidented storm surge. This bill would be a blessing for us.

Of course, there are always those who think people like us shouldn't be helped, that helping would be a "disincentive" to buying flood insurance.

"Bob Hartwig, senior vice president and chief economist with the non-profit Insurance Information Institute, said such an unprecedented bailout by the government would almost certainly make people reconsider buying flood insurance in the future.

'It does serious damage to the National Flood Insurance Program, which is a federal program, because people would not see the value to it,” Hartwig said. “In reality, many flood victims already have checks in their hands if they had flood insurance. There's no good substitute for actual insurance.'"

Ahem. Let me just state for the record that this is bullshit. We, like thousands of others, I'm sure, have taken away a huge lesson from hurricane Katrina. Namely, ALWAYS have flood insurance, even if it isn't required. I don't care if we live at the top of mountain; we will, from this day forward, carry flood insurance.

Also, Katrina was not a normal hurricane. It was a disaster of proportions the U.S. has never seen. My house was 2 miles inland and 22 feet above sea level, in an area that had never before flooded, even during the 100-year rain we had that dumped 15 inches in 24 hours. The storm surge that took our house (we saw a FEMA map that actually showed that we had WAVE ACTION in our neighborhood,) is a 1,000 year event. We didn't have flood insurance because it didn't make sense. It would be like having blizzard insurance in the Sahara.

But we DID have hurricane insurance. It just doesn't cover wind-driven storm surge that is part of a hurricane. Go figure.

So anyway, we did everything we were supposed to, and even more, in that we carried the highest amount of hurricane insurance and homeowners insurance that we could. And we WILL carry flood insurance in the future, even if it's silly.

So a goverment bailout would be a disincentive? I don't think so. In addition, the government will now REQUIRE flood insurance in places it never had, like in our neighborhood. So people WILL purchase it.

That Bob guy needs to be slapped. Or even better, he needs a nice natural disaster to hit his house, and then he'll see what it feels like to lose everything and not have it covered by insurance, even though it should have been.

Yeah, I'm annoyed. Merry freaking Christmas, Bob. :roll:

Well, the insurance adjuster FINALLY made it to our house. However, none of the insurance companies responsible for the idiot adjuster who never showed up has called to explain what happened, despite the fact that we have peppered them with calls. I want to scream.

But now that an adjuster has made it to our house (and told us that not much is covered,) FEMA was able to give us an account of what kind of aid we're eligible for. The FEMA inspector inspected…and was pretty flabbergasted by the amount of destruction in our area. Oh, and get this–his GPS/maps/etc., said that our house isn't fifteen feet above sea level like we thought. It's TWENTY-TWO feet. So two miles inland and 22 feet above sea level, and we still got 6 feet of water inside the house, 9 feet outside. That's a damned impressive storm surge.

How weird is it that despite the fact that the damned impressive storm surge destroyed everything we owned, I can't help but be awed by the power of nature? I mean, I have worked in the weather field for 15 years, and I still could not have believed that a hurricane could drive that much water that far inland.

Anyway, FEMA dude said we're eligible for the largest amount of aid available–they would pay for all the basics needed for the house. Things like a stove, fridge, microwave, bed, couch, table, etc. However (and this is a big however,) because we are responsible citizens with good credit, we have to apply for a loan instead. Apparently, the aid is only for people who have bad credit and can't get loans. How nice to get punished for being responsible.

It's what we expected to happen, but it still burns me up.

On a more positive note, the Coast Guard may be able to help us get rid of the house and get out from under the mortgage. We won't know for sure for a few more weeks, but that would really be nice. We'd still lose a lot of money on the whole deal, but it would be better than paying a mortgage for 29 more years on a house we can't live in.
Coming soon: Top Five Things You Should Never Say To A Hurricane Victim