1. It's incredibly easy to tamper with DNA and paternity tests
2. Guilty people never go to jail (or stay there,) but innocent people get arrested all the time
3. If you're a mobster, you can commit all the violent crimes you want, and people will still love you
4. The average person gets married 7 times
5. Condoms break easily
6. No one stays dead
7. All women need to be institutionalized at some point in their lives
8. If you're driving at night, you will get into an accident or run over someone
9. If you sleep with more than one man, you will get pregnant…which will require a paternity test…which can be easily manipulated
10. Children/twin siblings you didn't know you had will come into your life at the worst possible time
11. No matter how badly you're injured or close to dying in a hospital, you won't need machines to keep you alive. All you need is a nasal cannula!
12. Planes are extremely unsafe, and they crash into islands a lot
13. If you're pregnant, you'll give birth under dire circumstances, and most likely, not in a hospital
14. If you need an organ transplant, someone who is your match (and who you know) will conveniently die at the last minute
15. Complete amnesia is really common
What have you learned from watching soaps?
I used to watch Soaps all the time and like your list, the story lines got ridiculous. Hello don’t forget
1. the nicest people can be possessed by the devil (Days of our lives)
2. Weddings never go as planned, someone always crashes them
3. A person can get amnesia, as listed before, and assume a new identity, then regain their memory and be two different people.
4. Being shot or falling off a cliff doesn’t mean you’re dead
5. Don’t trust family members with the person your romantically involved with. They will sleep with them.
All of the above and:
That just about every famous actor started out on a SOAP.
Okay, that wasn’t nice. I laughed so hard my diet coke went up my nose!
You forgot about the children! They go upstairs or whatever – aren’t seen for a couple of weeks, come back down and they’ve aged at least 10 years!! I don’t watchthe soaps anymore since I started back to work, but I caught a few minutes of GH on soapnet sunday. I noticed that both of Alexis’ daughter’s had just about grown up!!
That’s a good one. They will then use these newly “grown” children to write new storylines. For example, two brothers are in love with the same girl. Girl loves brother #1 but then “accidently” sleeps with both of them (my #5). She becomes pregnant because the condom broke (#’s5 and 9).Then a paternity test is needed (#9), in which the results are wrong (#1). Girl wedding bro #2, in which bro #1 crashes (my #2) but too late because they are married (wedding 1 of 7/#4). Bro #1 upset no one to talk to because mom broke down and in asylum (#7). Drives off in the night has accident over the cliff (#8), but later to be found out not dead (#6 and my #4)He is in a hospital with only a nasal cannula! (#11)When he wakes up, of course he will have amnesia (#15) and fall in love with his nurse, forgetting about girl #1, and the baby that is really his. Bringing us back to the fact that when he does see his child from girl #1, two months later, the baby will be five years old.
Let me try with my Brazilian Soap experience:
1) When you have a big problem, the best solution is to leave everything and everyone and just start over somewhere – and it’s a very easy thing to do;
2) If you fall in love really hard and fast, that special someone probably is a lost brother or sister that you didn’t know about;
3) If you know an ugly girl, just take to a beauty spa and do some shopping… by the end of the day you will have a gorgeous top model of your own (if you are a girl and know a nerd/weird guy just take his glasses of);
4) The best way to wake up looking good is to go to bed with full makeup on;
5) Car keys don’t work if you park your car in the dark;
Can’t add anything but that’s pretty funny.
XOXO, M
This got me thinking. I wonder if the Demonica series would make a successful soap.
Hey, soap directors, *wink, wink*
XOXO, M
Let’s not forget the ever so popular five totally diffrent personalities living in one person’s head, causing them to do things everyone else remembers excpet whoever they are at the time.
omg, these are a hoot
I’ve learned that:
1. People talk out loud to themselves a lot… and are overheard at the most inappropriate times.
2. Lots of couples marry and divorce each other multiple times.
For the lat 3 years. I have been hook with books. I guess they are less predictable and I can take it with me anywhere.
All you said it’s right and that is why I stopped watching soaps.
I cracked up when I read this. I love your demonica series. I’m dying for Sin and Con’s story
I learned:
1. Someone, somehow steals a wife or husband.
2. A baby gets stolen by her aunt then her father helps out the kidnapper O_o[[Days of our lives]]
3. OLD PEOPLE DON’T DIE!!!!! -strangles her tv-
4. Someone is always caught cheating by someone who is related to the person thats getting cheated on.
5. People have sex with their underwear how a man can stick his penis through her vagina with panties and boxers still on, I will never know. -_-
6. I always throw something at the tv when Days of Our Lives come on.
LOL — loving these!
Also:
No one raises their own kids. Apparently, everyone in the world except me can afford a nanny.
Me, too. I have five kids, one disabled. Where’s my nanny? I NEED one. Should I go on a SOAP?
Also, have you noticed there are no male nannies. What happened to the men raising children? Its as if they are simply sperm donors, once the paternity test is cleared, or not.
Oh, you’re not alone. I can’t afford a nanny either. Maybe that’s why their kids are always so messed up on these soaps:)
Lets see: How about
1.People find out by snopping that their parents are not really theirs and that their adopted.
2.They do a lot of snopping.
3.That a turkey baster can be used to impregnate someone…hell anyone that is unconscious.
4. Any murder weapon can and will be found no matter how you try to destroy it.
5. If you are trapped somewhere there is always no signal on your cell phone.
6. Everyone can afford expensive everything. Check out how the dogs are dressed=/
7. Everyone has a deep dark past that comes back to haunt them.
8. The dramatic turn that women do, when they start to cry-you know the ONE. Then they turn back and say something smart and walk off.
9. How the nanny is always blamed for something.
10. Poor nanny sees everything-but still gets blamed about everything.
11. There is always that one person in the family that is insane
Soaps have taught me that
(1)If I’m in a room by myself then I can confess all the evil things I’ve ever done out loud. And even if someone is right outside the door and hear me, all I have to say is “Oh nothing” when they ask me what I said. The oh nothing erases anything that might have been said.
(2)It’s VERY normal to have complete conversations with your self.
(3)If a man and a woman hate each other then at some point they will fall in love.
Oh and (4) Everyone always ends up in a wheelchair for a short period of time, regardless if it is a permenant situation.
A coma is a very common occurrence for even the most minor of injuries- and you might wake up with a completely different appearance, but that’s okay too:)
Oh, those are the very same things that I have learned from the soaps…and the one about the kids going upstairs and suddenly aging is so true!
Have you been watching General Hospital?
Haha this is all funny. When I read about the kids I remembered that the kids always end up with an older woman like their father’s ex wife’s sister. And the girl’s end up with their doctor.
1. Blindness/paralysis is completely curable, usually within two weeks.
2. Brain surgery does not require your head be shaved.
3. No operations ever leave scars.
4. Everyone, no matter what job / financial situation, only wears something once.
5. Every second male you see is / was a secret agent
6. Every town has at least six serial killers.
7. Your worst enemy is usually your long lost brother / father / sister / daughter.
8. Med school / law school takes only 3 months to complete
9. Everyone has at least 27 half or step siblings
10. It is traditional to be shot at your own wedding.
You must be watching General hospital!!
I was thinking the same one about the secret agents. Soap towns have a lot more international intrigue than any place I’ve ever lived!
Everyone has children that they didn’t even know existed -even the mother who actually gave birth to the child!
No one even bats and eye when you have child with your husband’s brother, father, or grandfather!
Everyone is related.
The doctors spend an awful lot of time drinking shots and shooting darts.
No one actually works, they just kind of mill around gossiping or looking soulful.
Children are born and then six months later they are teenagers!
No matter how big the crime, no one EVER goes to jail. If they do, it’s not for long.
Crazy people who were “murdered” always come back from the dead.
If you have a split personality, your daughter will have one too!
Kidnapping is regular occurrence.
All women matching lingerie.
OMG. LMAO. All of these are SO true. I gave up watching most soaps for almost all of the above reasons. But the kicker was after I had stopped watching one particular soap, I decided to see what was going on with it 8 months later and a character that had been kidnapped when I stopped watching was still being held captive. And then after they took off my all time favorite soap, GUIDING LIGHT, which actually had story lines that were mostly resolved in a reasonable amount of time, that was the last straw.
c.
WOW, you learned ALOT from soaps. I can’t really add anything to top that list, you pretty much nailed it!!!